Tasty English©: HEY!! I'M WORKING HERE!

Just for fun, I thought it'll be funny to have a list of things that I've done so far as a teacher. Of course my list would be slightly different compared to other English teachers but I think it probably covers every single darn task that a regular English teacher will have to face when he/she becomes an English teacher (or just being a normal teacher).

Here it goes (in no particular order of time/importance):

Teach a minimum of 5 classes. 5 x 5 = 25 periods. Read it: minimum.
Mark 2 books per class = 2 x 5 x 35 = 350 books at least every fortnight. Some teachers have 4 books per class. You do the math.
Become the assessor for both the Pentaksiran Lisan Berasaskan Sekolah (PLBS) and Ujian Lisan Berasaskan Sekolah (ULBS) for all the English classes. PLBS is for form 1-3, ULBS is for form 4 & 5. One file for each type of assessment, 1 file for each class, and 1 file as the Ketua Pentaksir (I am...)
Be the teacher for this thing called NILAM. Which basically means that students are encouraged to read in class. Really.... Really??
Become involved in the school English Language Club (Ketua Penasihat). YAY!
Train choral speaking team. YAY!
Train school public speakers. YAY!
No debating team in sight.... PIONEER A DEBATE TEAM!!! YAY!
Create form 1 English diagnostic exam papers...
Write out yearly plans for form 4. Adjust yearly plans for form 1 & 4 as well for the new literature component.
Write out lesson plans by hand, I repeat... by hand. Yes, 10 more years to vision 2020.
Be in charge of the Disciplinary Unit. That's right. Yours truly is a discipline teacher.
Handle low-key disciplinary cases. Low-key meaning almost berat.
Be in charge of the school prefect's board.
Be in charge of the St. John's Ambulance Brigade. Though I haven't really done anything about it yet.
Be in charge of the school's Red House. TWISTER!!! TWISTER!!! TWISTER!!!
Be in charge of the Red House's marching contingent. TWISTER!!! TWISTER!!! TWISTER!!!
Become the head coordinator of the Form 4 classes.
Be in charge of school table tennis training, sending of contestants, and overall student management in the club.
Go for English Literature courses that are just repetitions of my 4 years in UPSI. No offense to the facilitators. You guys were great.. just that I've been there, done that - more gruelingly.
Mark English exam papers. Sometimes for classes that I don't even teach. See how considerate I can be?
Become a class teacher.
Chase kids for school fees. Yeah. Chase - running on 2 feet.
Ensure kids get school text books. Thanks to the swift system of the SPBT teachers, this is such an easy task.
Help kids fill out their information into the system. Once again, our statistics teacher... *respect
Help kids fill out their scholarship forms. *salute to the scholarship teacher as well.
Help kids check their hostel entrance confirmations.
Help kids reapply their hostel entrance requests if needed. Why would the best student in Beluran not get an entry? WHY?
Help kids get their school PE outfits and sizes.
Help poor kids get their school sponsored uniforms.
Help kids who cannot comprehend English to complete their homework.
Tutor kids with learning problems personally after classes.
Motivate kids who are completely behind in learning English.
Motivate kids who have completely lost faith in the school system.
Motivate kids who have completely lost faith in themselves.
Motivate kids who have completely rejected the idea of learning.
Motivate kids who have completely rejected the idea of living.
Manage students during sporting events.
Manage students during assemblies. Which includes the usual fainting or *ahem ahem, feinting
Manage students during Annual General Meetings.
Sing in front of the students (important! this encourages students to be sporting) during formal events.
Contact book salespeople to get books for students.