Taboo

Don't tell me for one second that I don't know what your culture is all about. Don't tell me that there is a certain rule or regulation within your culture that permits the nastiest of attitudes I've ever experienced in my lifetime.

How is it even possible that you allow a guest to stay outside the house for over an hour waiting in the heat of the sun while you are relaxing in you house?

Is it really how you were raised? Is it really what old folks of your circle of acquaintances tell you everyday? That when a guest of your friend arrives in your house, he should be left out in the hot sun just because he is of a different gender?

My gender is now an issue if I want to visit someones house? Really?!!???

So as long as I befriend another person who is a woman or a lady, it is NOT PERMITTED to enter the house? Even as a guest?

What is it that you do when a guest arrives? Here are just a few things that come to mind... just in case you were still unsure about what to do when a friend of yours rings your doorbell to pay a visit to your house.

1. You say "Hello!" and hopefully it's in a cheerful if not semi-friendly tone.
2. You ask him about his business coming to your house. Just a simple "Yeah, is there anything I can do for you?" will suffice.
3. Upon knowing the reason of his/her visit, you let him in if he has some business that requires quite some time with the people in the house. If he's just there to take something or to inform about anything, there's no need to ask for him to come in (though I think it's just so very courteous of us to invite him in for a drink even if it were just a customary gesture).
4. Depending on him having to wait for a response of his business being there, you make him feel as comfortable as possible until he takes his leave. Inviting him for a drink, or just sitting down while waiting for the business to be settled, or just coming in as a 'salam' or what we Malaysians love to say 'ziarah-menziarahi'. Bukankah kita ini bangsa yang sungguh menggalakkan kita semua menziarahi satu sama lain? Bukankah itu satu budaya yang kita sayangkan sangat?
5. You throw in an "OK, nice having you here. Do drop by for tea next time" or "Too bad we can't chat for long, hopefully you come by again OK? Nice having you every once in a while," or just "OK, thanks for dropping by,"

I'm not the most courteous of people. Yet, I think if a guest or just a friend of my friend's arrive, I'd like to try my best to make that person feel comfortable. Show that person that your home is always welcome to friendly visitors. At least, the very least I will offer them 'air bujang' to show them that they are always welcome to have a sit and to chit-chat. I don't know about you, but that's just me.
 
I mean. Seriously, which part of your brain thinks I'm stupid enough to think that because of your race/religion/beliefs/ideals/taboos DOES NOT ALLOW guests to come over just because he is of a different gender? I'm a teacher. I know about all the cultures/subcultures and all the things that has to be done. If I don't, it is my business to find out. Remember: AS A TEACHER, I HAVE TO KNOW. If I don't, then IT IS MY JOB TO TRY TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT IT. Not necessarily as practice, but for knowledge.

DO NOT use your race/religion as an excuse. It's not just silly because I know what is in it. I know what are the laws that surround the idea of guests arriving to your house. WORSE OF ALL, I think it's just blasphemous to perverse your religious ideals and claim that it is a certain way (when it is clearly not) just to suit your own comfort.

You disgust me.

*Spit