on Monday, 5 April 2010
On the 30th of April, I'll be going for an interview as a part of the package of being a government agent. It really is an interesting topic of discussion among the new teachers as they try to speculate the impending events that could happen during the interview.

Of course... it entrails to:

                                     ... in case you were wondering, SPP stands for Suruhanjaya Perkhidmatan Pelajaran

10. Interviewer: OK, sila masuk. Siapa nama?
      Interviewee: OK, sila masuk. Siapa nama?
      Interviewer: Huh? Kenapa ini?
      Interviewee: Huh? Kenapa ini?
      Interviewer: Oh... nak main-main ya?
      Interviewee: Oh.. nak main-main ya?
                       .... you know where this is going..

9. You go into the room, confident as ever, head up high, chests out and smart with your tie... You look at the panel of interviewers, you see Randy Jackson, Ellen Degeneres, Simon Cowel, and the ever hot Kara Dioguardi.

8. Interviewer: OK, apa pendapat kamu mengenai pengajaran Bahasa Inggeris dalam sains dan matematik?
    Interviewee: I think it's really good because it really prepares students for tertiary level literature.
    Interviewer: Setuju. Apa pendapat kamu mengenai penguasaan Bahasa Inggeris yang lemah di kalangan
    Interviewee: I think that's difficult to answer because that would be situational depending on the area
                       you are in.
    Interviewer: Saya rasa kamu bagus menjadi seorang guru.
    Interviewee: Thank you, that means a lot to me.
    Interviewer: Kamu boleh keluar sekarang.
    Interviewee: Thanks.

7. You enter the room, the room is empty, you start walking to the chair, and the three interviewers jump at you from behind going "BOO! Gotcha!"

6. Every now and then, you see the lady interviewer staring at your crotch. Licks her lips, and gives you the "I got you babe," wink in the eye. *shivers.

5. Interviewee: Good morning.
    Interviewer: Good morning... OK. So, did you get the x-ray?

4. You enter the room, you see the chief interviewer carrying a small chihuahua, stroking its head, a small pink purse at the side, blond hair, make-up thicker than asphalt tar, with manicure and pedicure that resembles Lady Gaga's fashion sense, and she says "Hi, my name is Firdaus. Sit down please,"

3. You enter, trip over the tiles that are uneven and apologise. With a stern and unflinching voice, one of the interviewers say: "Do it again, puppy..."
2. Interviewee: Good morning. May I sit down?
    Interviewer: Good morning and yes, you may. Do you have any other tricks this morning?

The interviewers ask "So, Mr. Adrian Tan. Honestly, is it true you have a friend with an enormous penis? I'm not that interested but I mean, seriously... like legendarily long? I heard it has its own life and will? May I see it? Can you arrange a meeting? When can we see it? Does 'it' have a facebook profile? Come on, don't be stingy... let us see it."

*insert big band jazzy ending with lots of 'confetti' from the legend's tng tng.

The Legend is in the blog.

Say it with me...

The Legend.


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